On Getting Married

If there’s any advice that I’d give to anyone about getting married, here it is: Act fast, decide slowly.  And yes, I suggest living together first.

Here’s why.

Act fast. You’re in a relationship for quite some time now and you’re starting to think on settling down with your partner (of course! That’s the main goal in being in a relationship right?) You think you already found the right person? Act right away. Ask her to live with you and test the waters.

That’s where the “decide slowly” gets in. Yep, that’s right. Live together for six months to two years. Most probably that’s long enough to see all the shitty side that your partner have. Take your time, weigh every aspect. Will he be a responsible father? Is she caring enough for your future kids?  Ask yourself from time to time if you actually want to be with that person. Can you accept them, flaw and all?

Here’s one tip that my mom told me:

Wanna know your partner’s real attitude? Make them angry. Tell you what, it’s true! It’d show their true color and you’ll know how long is their patience.

Another thing is you’ll never know how a person really is until you live under one roof. Imagine finding out all your partner’s bad sides AFTER getting married. Woah, there’s no going back (we live in Philippines, there’s no divorce here and annulment is too expensive and inconvenient).

Getting married at 24 and having my first child at 20, it somehow gives me a firsthand experience on how marriages work. Most of what I know about marriage are not based on just my experiences alone, some are from observations from other couples around me.

I’ve seen couples regretting that they married their spouse. Most would say “Di ko naman alam na ganyan sya eh” (I didn’t know that he’s like that). If they lived together before settling down, maybe they had a better chance of avoiding the wrong person.



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