mas mabuti na yung puro gawa kesa puro salita

halos dalawang linggo na kaming nakatira sa bahay ng lola ni Michael. Dito din nakatira yung anak nya sa una. Obviously , sya lang ang bata dito at oo , mahal na mahal sya ng mga taga-dito. Airu is just four years old.

 

I know my son is kinda sutil pero sa two weeks na andito kami, naobserbahan ko yung pagbabago sa anak ko.

 

From being a lively kid, lagi na lang syang tulala at nananahimik sa isang sulok. Di sya sumasama sa amin. Di rin sya nagsasabi ng problema. I know  that’s too much to ex[ect from a two-year-old kid but I know my son, I know something’s wrong.

 

For the last few days I tried reconnecting with him to encourage him na makipaglaro samin. Even sakin di sya lumalapit , and for me that breaks my heart. I’d see him laugh when his older brother would laugh. I’d see him play when they are OK but  aside from that , he’d simply stare blankly.

i know mapanakit ang anak ko but he’s just two. Pinagsasabihan ko sya palagi. I even let my SIL na pagalitan sya since sya din nagdidisiplina sa panganay ni MIchael. Kumbaga, para patas sa kanilang magkuya.

 

 

Isang bagay na napapansin ko sa kanila is yung inggitan sa laruan. Dahil nakikitira kami dito, all of the toys belongs to Airu , Michael’s first son. At first it’s normal kasi parang nahihirapan si Airu mag-share ng laruan sa kapatid nya but then I noticed na tipong nananadya na. Kung anong hawak ng anak ko , yun ang kukunin. It’s not about shortage ng laruan. The kid have a huge drum and a basket filled with his toys. Meron ding syang First Wheels, yung motor ng bata. Halos buong kwarto puno ng laruan. And guess what, he doesn’t want to share. Kung kay Erika OK lang, but kay Alexis, hindi pwede. Ako syempre awang-awa ako sa anak ko kasi pinagdadamutan sya.

 

 

Last night I bought him new toys para may sarili syang laruan. A set of 4 toy cars from CARS movie. Paborito nilang magkuya yun eh. Cheap but he obviously loved it. When Airu saw it, he immediately chose what cars he wants and my son immediately shared them. OK na sya kung anong naiwan sa kanya. That made me proud, di pa din madamot anak ko kahit pinagdadamutan sya ng kuya nya.

 

 

Today after lunch , after makauwi ni Airu, they were playing. IDK what happened pero dalawa na lang yung natira sa toys ni Alexis. Airu can’t see those other toys na napili nya so pilit nyang kinukuha yung nasa kamay ni Alexis. Ayaw bitawan ni Alexis yung laruan nya kaya kinagat nya si Airu. Erika was acting up that time so hindi ko napigil. I know that hurting others is wrong but what I saw is my son was just protecting himself. Airu cried. Pinagsabihan ni Lola si Alexis. I went out of the room kasi inaasikaso ko yung spaghetti. After that, naririnig ko pa din si Airu saying ‘’AKIN YAN! DI KO YAN IPAPAHIRAM SAYO!’’ He also have a habit of shouting loudly in front of my son’s face lalo kapag galit o naiinis sya.

Pinalampas ko yun, thinking it’s just like what they always do, mag-away. Twice umiyak si Airu then Jhen came in. Pinagalitan nya si Alexis. She said ‘’IKAW, BAKIT KA NANGANGAGAT. ASO KA BA?! ISANG BESES PANG KAGATIN MO SI AIRU KUKUHA NA KO NAG SAKO ITATAPON KITA’’.

 

The whole time I was asking Michael na bantayan yung mga bata but he was too busy with his laptop.

 

 

After that twice na lumapit si Alexis sakin asking me na umuwi na kami. I always ask him to go back inside the room since I’m busy din tapos si Erika nakakapit pa sa binti ko.

 

 

After nun umangil nanaman si Airu. I rushed inside the room and i saw my son crying too. Pinagalitan ko sila pareho then dinala ko si Alexis sa kusina. What happened next was blurry. I remember Michael shouting at Alexis saying ‘’WAG KANG UMIYAK JAN”. Sumagot ako, sabi ko ‘’Wag mong sigawan yan. Jan ka lang naman magaling eh. Sumigaw. Bakit, alam mo ba bakit nag-aaway yang dalawang yan? Puro ka computer! Tignan mo yang anak mo, tulog na sa upuan (nakatulog sya sa kakaiyak) may tae pa sa pwet yan di pa nahuhugasan”

 

Kinuha ni Vina si Erika at dun ko lang napaliguan si Alexis. Pinatulog ko na din. Michael keeps on saying sorry. Ayoko naman sabihin yung rason sa kanya bakit ako nagalit.

 

All the emotion, naipon na. For the past two weeks awang awa ako sa anak ko na laging pinagdadamutan ng kuya nya. I feel that my son is being bullied and I don’t want this to continue. That instance, when Jhen shouted at him and he asking me na umuwi na kami. Those pushed me to my limit. That made me decide on my own na bukas iuuwi ko na yung mga anak ko sa amin. Maiiwan muna sila dun ng ilang araw but after that I’ll insist kay Michael na magttrabaho na lang muna ako ulit.

 

HINDING HINDI KO NA IBABALIK ANG MGA ANAK KO DITO.

 

 

The whole time that I’m typing , I cant stop my tears. Awang awa ako sa anak ko. Sobrang awang awa.

 

Ayoko na lang ng gulo so I wouldn’t tell anyone here why I decided on that.

 

[Featured image not mine]

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