When I was a little younger, when I am still sure on everything I know about myself, I would look straight in the mirror and say “Hey, way to go!” Everyday I would wake up with the same conviction about things, with the same set of standards that I follow. Things were the same until love came into picture.
Have you ever experienced that? You know, when you fall in love with a person and they seem to break you down in some way. Like, all the standards you’ve set, all the goals and dreams that you once had for yourself now depends on that one person. You were caught off guard and defenseless and you just crumble into pieces – and sometimes you just don’t know why you’re doing thins that normally, you wouldn’t.
Time came while I’m in the midst of all the decision making (that somehow feels like I’m making the wrong choices), I looked in the mirror and asked “Is that you?” – and that, I tell you, was one of the saddest moments of my life. That’s when I realized a lot of things (specially the wrong ones) and the worse thing is I can’t turn back and I have to make it work.
Being uncertain of who you are makes the situation worse. Which one should I fix first, my situation or myself?
Well, good thing the worse is over now. I’m still picking up some of my old pieces, trying to figure out how they fit before – so that I can build a better new me for my family.